Ariel Winter: I Got Crabs!



Ariel Winter clearly knew that, when she shared this new photo, the jokes would write themselves.


So she decided to preempt us all in the captions.


And you know what? Good for her.


Ariel Winter shared this photo, and included her own joke.


Effectively beating us all to the punch.


Her caption?


“I got crabs in Delaware.”


We love a girl with media awareness and a sense of humor.


Most STIs aren’t considered a laughing matter.


Like, when Jenelle Evans suggested that an Instagram troll had AIDS was absolutely not funny in the slightest.


But pubic lice, often referred to as “crabs,” are different.


First of all, they’re neither deadly nor incurable.


Second of all, crabs are actually dying out.


(Not the crustaceans)


While supermodel Ashley Graham may have a full bush and Amber Rose flaunted her bush on Instagram, pubic hair is way less popular these days than it was for most of the 20th Century.


This isn’t the first period of time in history when removing body hair has been fashionable, of course.


But pubic lice are really taking a hit because so many people’s grooming habits are destroying their habitats.


While no one (aside from maybe a few entomologists) mourns their passing, some wonder if there’s a real chance that “crabs” jokes might need to be explained to future generations.


It’s nice to think that at least one STI could naturally go extinct.


(But scientists still need to work on, you know, curing all of the others)


(…Also we never know when fashion trends will reverse, so crabs could see a huge comeback — so don’t get too comfortable)


Ariel Winter’s sense of humor is really refreshing.


Some stars seem totally oblivious of how they might be perceived.


Or at least what people might say or joke based on what they’re seen doing.


We all remember when Rob Kardashian cluelessly used the eggplant emoji when talking about his mother.


(He meant literal eggplant stew that she was making but … that’s not what that emoji means)


Ariel Winter knows that people are going to remark — she’s grown up as a celebrity — so she just goes for it.


Sometimes, as with the crabs, it seems like she sets people up for jokes.


Which is just super nice of her.


Ariel Winter’s bikini pics don’t need the extra creative flare, but we’re glad that she goes for it anyway.


She could have done a follow-up photo with her cute but much-older boyfriend Levi Meaden.


If he’d, say, been handing her one of those crabs, or presenting her with a plate of them …


You get it. We’d be able to joke that he gave her crabs.


(With a joke that about how he got them from the waiter!)


But Ariel Winter already gives us so much.


It would be too selfish to demand more.


Plus, maybe Levi Meaden’s new acting gig is keeping him busy.


For my part, I’m not big on eating arthropods, whether they’re crickets or crabs.


Actually, I’m not big on seafood in general.


(Except in the form of sushi)


But I absolutely adore Ariel Winter.


How can you not?



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